seriously.. im so sick of my working place.
sigh!
$?!^*%#&$%&)!#!@$


went dinner with my sis, my ex bro-in-law and 2 monsters last night.
felt like quite warmth and contented kinda lifestyle.
i bought 2 shirts for my niece, even though she did so badly in her exam.
i think im gonna spoiled her..
the older my niece and nephew get, the more i will dote them.
dont know why.
when they were like at the age of 2-4 which is supposed to be the cutest period for kids, i really cant tolerant them... like 2 lil evil monsters. *omg*
but now, i find this 2 monsters so cute!
hahaa..
can go shopping with my niece, discuss abt games.. drama.. idols..
*sho sweet*
hahahaa.


okay.. end of my lame entry.. for the sake to past some time during work.
=D

chest pain.. since the morning i woke up.
was alrdy late for work.
i stubbornly headed to work despite the chest pain.
not only chest pain, i had breathing difficulty, nausea and gastric pain.
cabbed to work.
reached the office.. felt as if im dying.
was shivering since i stepped into the office.
i skipped lunch.
and.. i puked the water that i just drank earlier on.
yeah.. i puked in the office.. into the rubbish bin behind me.
damn awful!
was shivering like hell, cldnt tolerant anymore eventually, i packed my bag and went off.
cabbed back to hg wanted to head down to the company doc.
then, it was closed on every wed!
you say suay or not laa!
went to another clinic.. no choice.
okay, so the doc's evaluation was..
im too stress.. the muscle ard my chest and ribcage there contract too much and cldnt relax.
yea.. i think he is alrdy the sec or third doc who told me that i was too stress up.
true or not???
im not sure either. sigh.
think my life is really messed up man.
took my medication, but i stil feel the chest area kinda tense.
=(


okay.. time to go bed.
hope tmr can be better.. much better.

life...
just sucks.
ever since mos closed, my nightlife is gone too.
did went some short drinking at pubs and lounge.
but.. i miss clubbing!
sigh.


been feeling so sick of going work.
too a mudane life.
kinda cant stand it anymore.
first, i hate having to wake up early in the morning.
second, im so sick of being deskbound from monday to friday, 830am to 6pm daily.
thirdly, i hate having to "squeeze" myself into the train and bus every mornin and evenin.
forth, office is full of boring ppl and stuff.
lastly, am gettin more and more envious of those full time uni students.
so what now?
*BLANK*



chivas w green tea more ice pls...

backiee~~
sucha long time since my last entry.
well..
life is like kinda busy lately.
with???
mmm... work, studies, and of cos.. nightlife!
haha.
was damn sad cos MOS closed.
sigh~
i miss MOS! .. serious!!
nowhere to go... ppl.. pls jio me out. haha.


okay, serious matter.
the previous term's result was out.

HR management:
Pre-course assignment: B-
Learning Journal: B+
Main assignment: C+
Exam: B

Economic Policy & Strategies:
Pre-course assignment: B+
Learning Journal: B
Main assignment: B
Exam: E+ (knncb!)


i dont know whether this kinda result is gd or bad.
well, was kinda satisfied plus disappointed


was pretty stressed up lately.
assignments dateline.
exam is nearly.
having imbalance of:
sleep (either insomnia or excessive slping)
diet (either totally no appetite or excessive eating)
mood (super high/super low)
smoking crave (5 sticks a day/ half++ pack a day)
wtf huh...

seems like im blogging less and less.
but theres nth really that interesting for me to blog.
life is too mudane.
just like plain water.
healthy yet boring.
argghhh!~
seems like nth can perk me up recently, not even clubbing.
sigh.
help! help!!


hmmm.. shld i go cut my hair shorter???? random.


some dramas to recommend:
fated to love you (taiwan)
absolute boyfriend (jap)
when a dog loves a cat (hk)
catch me now (hk)
the seventh day (hk)
moonlight resonances (hk)


dramas that i recommend one sure nice one ok! *ADDICTIVE*
heehees..


* i just more and more detest her presence.

okay, too free in office, lets blog.
went mos last friday night.
with some colleagues.
well, was feeling excitied even before i stepped into the club.
caused alrdy spent 3 weekends rotting at home, finally i can step into a club again!
haha!
super fun night!
the main arena rocks, thumbs up for smoove too.
hees..
hanging out with those guys was fun i mus say.
too crappy. lol
after mos, went lunar with kenneth and gang.
kinda bo liao, went in, drank a glass, went home.
haa..
gonna study this weekend.. having another paper on sunday night. what a furkin timing.
well, no choice still.

there is telepathy between xuelin and me!~
suddenly i have the urge to go shopping recently.
was supposed to meet up my 3 last-time besties lar.
then. usual procedure lar.. cancelled.
well.. best! i shld say.
cos xuelin smsed me ard 5+, asked if im free.
i replied saying of cos im free! and i suggested going town!
hehehehehee~~!
so excitied til i took a cab down from office to orchard.
also cos laziness and raining.
dinner plus shopping plus cabbing = est. $150
xuelin accused me for burning her pocket. wth.
she no discipline still dare to say i make her spend so much everytime we go out.
to xuelin: right? right? you say la! correct or nt!
so we suggest to only meet once a mth for shopping.
my last shopping trip was with her too, spent twice the amt i spent jus nw.
lol.
she commented that she didnt expect i'd free today after work, she felt so regret smsed me.
kns right?? kao~
anyway, we haven meet our target expenses, lets go shopping soon again!
haha!

time flies.. real fast.
been working in the company for 2mths and 8 days.
seriously, currently, i prefer working to studying.
through working.. i learn more and get to know more ppl.
karen is building her own career now!
i keep telling myself:
listen more, speak less, learn more.
make mistakes, admit and learn.
ask qn but not silly qn.
always stay humble.
every new day is a new lesson.
=)
well think i shld elaborate my job. hehees...
sales support executive is my job title.
ECS Computers (Asia) is my company.
is an IT company. the second largest IT distributor in spore.
brands im involve in are Acer and EMC.
now im more familiar with harddisks, SATA, fiberchannel, iSCSI, storage, archieving, servers, monitors, OS, ATA, SAN, NAS, CAS, DAS and blah and blah.
IT industry is one which i never thought of stepping in before.
at first, i was told my job scope is to do event and marketing plans for EMC and some paperworks.
eventually, i got to know more EMC products which are mostly storage and backup products.
then, my boss is starting to let me handle some Acer products such as notebooks and desktops.
well, i must say its a totally different experience and exposure.
and i love this job. =D
IT line is moving so fast and is a kinda motivation for me to move forward at all times.
moreover, i have great colleagues and bosses.
*thanks for all the encouragements and patience.
til now, im determine to stay in this industry and with this company.
*karen is just a lucky girl right?
what a good start for me.
yet, on the other hand,
my studies sucks. dont bother to put in effort for my assignments.
"bo sim" to study for exams.
thought of deferring my studies.
put it to a pause for maybe half a yr or so.
will it be a wise choice??
sigh.
growing up is a scary process indeed.

good news for you girls!
new spree is up now at:
http://mybellehouse.blogspot.com
items include tops, bottoms, dress and accessories
do take a look and pls support!

my blog.. so i post my most most most frank feelings and thinking now.
i have 3 besties during my seconday sch time.
nono.. i think now on.. i shld use ...
i had 3 besties during my seconday sch time.
maybe because of the environments we move to after sec sch or the diff ppl we mixed w or our characters and mindset or time or whatever shit,
we drifted more and more and more.
this kinda entry is pretty often seen in my blog hur?
yar.. so i think this gonna be the last.
I THINK.. they dont understand the theory of "give and take" in relationships.
they dont know how to appreciate.
the effort and hopes i have are drying up.
I FEEL.. the 6-7 years of frdship..
they dont understand my character and my likings at all.
they are like stones and rocks.. no changes can be seen in their lifes, while the ppl ard them and the environments ard them are constantly changing and improving.
they seems to be living in caves and mountains forever.
it is as if they are staying in their own world. noo.. they are alrdy.
whenever i need them, they are nowhere to be found.
maybe they can be very good scriptwriters.
cos they are experts in making excuses, slacking and lazing ard which means they have plently of free time, they have kinda good imagination and creativity cos they are so lack of exposure to the real world that they think they are living in fairytales and they dream and dream instead of living it.
all these may sound so sarcastic and offending.
but they are jus what i think and how i feel.
well, in another way,
is it my fault tht they make me think and feel this way?
then who is gg to feel sorry for my effort made so far?
i am not trying to ask for a return or more.
just reflecting... maybe its time to wake up and stop being so naive to think that they are stil my besties and not to spend effort which wil definitely be wasted.






*blogging during office hr hur... heeess

when conflict happens.
one only have two reactions:
1.speak up their mind and show their true feelings OR
2.hide whatever i think/feel, avoid whatever involve and run.


i used to be the no.2 type.
run as far as i could and avoid as much as i could.
but as time pass, with the enironment and ppl ard me, i slowly changed into a no.1 person.
and i starts to realise, how annoying and sickening to be with ppl of the no.2 personality.


cmon, we are all humans with the brain, eyes, mouths, ears and the hearts to judge whats the truth and the lies.
why cant ppl jus open up themselves and speak up their minds rather than jus keeping whatever stuff and let whatever that is happening get worse.
yar, one may needs lots of courage to speak up.
but, since you have the courage to make a particular decision at the beginning, i dont see why you dont have the courage to speak up and give a better and a "prettier" conclusion.
avoiding and running away from problems is such a coward and jerk-ish act!
well, many ppl, be it girls or boys, ladies or gentlemen, tend to use avoiding as a way to solve problems.
i think they are making the biggest mistake ever!
pls.. use your brain and think! what does avoiding the problem lead to?
more problems/sadness/heartaches/confusions/misunderstanding/anger??
or more... sorry cant think of any positive leads.


seems like this entry im shooting someone off??
yar i am!
lalalalalala~~

nausea.
been daysss..
sigh!
just recovered from my flu and cough.
another virus attack me liao.
sadded.

whats wrong??
sch started long ago.
but ive been skipping classes.
clubbing like nobody business.
late for work almost everyday.
wtf.
sigh.









know me.
trust me.
love me.

tired.
so tired.
work is alright. but sch is like hell.
having discipline problem.. yar, all along there is.

enough of those guessing games...

took 2 hrs off to see a doc this morning before headin to work.
zzz~
the usual karen would jus take a day mc rather than gg back office after seeing a doc.
ohhh.. so whats wrong with her now??
i cant believe it myself too.
LOL

guys love car is to they love women.
they are always searching for the latest model and the better designs and functions.
they might have alrdy own one, but they will still love to watch other cars, be it alrdy driven by others or those sitting in the showrooms.
the better the quality, the higher is the price.
can't afford?? settle for a cheaper and not-too-bad alternative first.
alrdy own a car?? make sure there is a spare tyre behind to prevent any events.
or rather.. spare tyressss.

karen's life=lies+empty words+masked faces

profound simplicity is the birth of complexity

nausea.
txtbooks and assignments make me sick.
arggghhh~~~

oh yah.. didnt blog abt my bday celebration.
how cld i.
lol..

well, not really a happy celebration ,with a bit of disappointment.
but, i still enjoyed myself.
eh.. contradicting??

thanks all who came to my party and for all the bday presents.

summary for my presents:
1.ysl mascara from jonnie
2.chanel eyeliner and lipgloss from cassy and jeffery
3.topshop bag from eve and kai
4.mphosis bag from es, pr and linlin
5.cap from kenneth
6.princess vera perfume from wanlin and victor
7.ang bao from matthew
8.ck perfume from my sis
9.lesportsac bag from bro
10.blackforest cake from shihui
11.walnut cake from dad and mummy
12.cardholder from my boss
13.lil bear from tom
14.sweet wishes from frds.. =)

karen is just a lucky girl~*

bday wishes???
*secret* heess..

freedom used to be her love
until he enters her life.

she've got the taste of sweetness and sourness.
but upon looking into his eyes,
her smile is endless.

her patience is being tested.
her laughter seems to be fading.
confusion and troubles is hovering.

however,
she still believes
the feelings is not to be faked.

appreciation.
not everyone can do it.
not everyone understand what it means.
and im sick and tired of these ppl.
my "friends".

received my first birthday present!
YSL MASCARA!!
from SUPER JONNIE!
*grinsss*
thankssss a million x a million
happy a million x a million
=D

what's life man.
KNN!

MV

Nan ren Nu ren-valen hsu feat ah mu long






Qing ai de na bu shi ai qing-angela zhang

read some of my schmates' blogs.
realised everyone is moving on with their own life with a prospectful job.
me?
still lazing ard. not even knowing and sure of what i really want.
at first, i chose a part time degree course cos i wanted to work a full time job that is marketing related to gain some experience while i study at the same time.
now?
i totally forget what im aiming and what i set as a goal for myself.
failure.


for the time being..
furking hard for me to give up my leisure time esp clubbing and drinking.
i just dont feel like growing up.
am happier being childish and immature, wasting my precious time.
"lol"


however,
went to my sch orientation just now.
yeah.. sch starts. stress..
reports and projects .. welcome em back to karen's life.
most of my classmates are working adults.
they sort of "inspire" me.
lol
my lecturer was right.
we are actually making a big investment.
exchanging our time and effort now for a much bigger return in the future.


and...
thanks jon,
for the effort to look out suitable job for me and encourage me all times.
=)

met up w super jonnie after work.
so so so happy can!
omg
then, he brought me go eat wanton mee..
so so so nice.
walked in the HEAVY rain togther.
so so so SWEEET hor.
waaaaahh~~


p.s to super jon: like this can??? happy bo??

life is a game.
you survive and continue.
or..
pronounced dead.

artwork done by karen =D

Family denotes a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity, and co-residence. Although the concept of consanguinity originally referred to relations by "blood," many anthropologists have argued that one must understand the notion of "blood" metaphorically, and that many societies understand 'family' through other concepts rather than through genetic distance.

personally,
family to karen..
is just a group of ppl tied up togther w the "same blood".
that it's.


parents, siblings, uncles, aunties, cousins...
they are just a title, a status, a term.
whats more??
no.


parents..
whats their expectation for their children?


she thinks..
girls dont need much education, gonna marry a man anyway.
girls shouldnt stay out late, ppl may think and perceive what we are doing outside.
girls shouldnt smoke and drink.
girls staying out late are up to sth bad.


she wants me to...
furking get a job so i dont waste her money any longer.
contribute some $$$ to the family.
be a nerd and stay at home watch show, eat and slp.
listen to every single word she says. maybe even any punctation if there is.
stay at home other than going out for sch/work.


well well..
karen's lifestyle:
spend everyday as if there is no tmr.
enjoys being w her friends no matter where or when or doing what.
yar, she loves to club, drink, smoke and stay out late.
slp during daytime instead.
all because she knows..
she cant predict what will hpn the nxt day.
she jus loves her frds and their companionship.
loves dancing and the half-drunk state.
she hates the sun.


many would think how cld i always go against my parents,
its so unfilfial.
as a child, i dont understand how a parent would feel and their worries.
but,
as parents,
shldnt they just want their children to be happy, enjoy life, experience life and support whats their child's life philosophy.


im so sick and tired of everything.
i just cant wait to move out on my own.


it doesnt matters much anymore.
whatever stuff that need to be bother.
all matters is karen's own style of living.


because of them,
i suffer from depression, insomnia and self-inferior.
whos there to help me?
no one.

stress..
more stress..
furk!

okay, i'd blog abt PMS today.
why?
cos im experiencing it now.
and i hate it!

first,
PMS stands for Premenstrual syndrome.

it is collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle.

such symptoms are usually predictable and occur regularly during the two weeks prior to menses. The symptoms may vanish after the menstrual flow starts, but may continue even after the flow has begun.

symptoms!!!

1. abdominal bloating (think more than 90% of females experience this)
2. constipation and hemorrhoids
3. abdominal cramps (same as the first one.. sucks big time)
4. breast tenderness or swelling
5. itching of breasts (can ask your bf help u if u like)
6. stress or anxiety
7. agression
8. depression (the killer!!! ..)
9. appetite change or food cravings (i know you girls hate this.. me too!!)
10. high sexual arousal (errrmmmm... yar.. LOL..)
11. insomnia (buy more eye masks lo)
12. joint or muscle pain
13. headache
14. fatigue
15. acne (this is shit!.. yet.. it loves us!..)
16. worsening of existing skin disorders, and respiratory
17. and more... and more...

well, there are actually more than 200 symptoms. sigh~~ girls' lifes are tough right???

tired.. blog abt it more when i feel like it. doesnt matter if u guys like it! LOL

a special world for you and me
a special bond one cannot see
it wraps us up in its cocoon
and holds up fiercely in its womb.

its finger spread like fine spun gold
gently nestling us to the fold
like silken thread it holds us fast
bonds like this are meant to last.

and though at times a thread may break
a new one forms in its wake
to bind up closer and keep us strong
in a special world, where we belong..

life is...
kinda messed up.
jobless.
the figure is alrdy negative.
nightlife as usual.
drink as usual.
cig crave is increasing.
lousy life..


well,
stil enjoying it.
lol
contradicting eh?
loves the companionship of my frds.
esp kenneth, jerene, kai, eve, jonnie..
and i miss.. xuelin, huipeng, val, carmen, mindy and ah xiang
heheees..
loves mos!.. second home.. LOL
omg
happy happy~~




i seriously wish tt money can drop from the sky man!
gosh!



ktv and mos later on..
whee~

*girls..

GOOD CATCH!!

interested?? dial.. 94595455

LOL

thanks girl.
love u=)

Examination Results

Student:0500717D BAY KAR YIN KAREN
Academic Year:2007/2008, October Semester
Course:DIPLOMA IN MARKETING


Entrepreneurship: B+

Global Marketing: D+

Strategic Marketing: C+

Integrated Marketing Communications: C

Integrated Marketing Project 2: B

Student Internship Programme: Pass



freakkk.. no A
only two B.
one D.. god damn!
got B+ for this bull shitting subj.. lol
*faint*
kinda disappointed actually..
=(

How often have I hurt myself
From flying away from places
How often did I tell myself
I'm not what I used to be anymore

My wings are so real
Wings so beautiful
Gleaming in the sky
No matter how strong
No wind can blow me back

I'll fly far, far away
And smile on the way
Even in the days to cry
I will fly till the end of the world
On these truthful wings
Flying to the place I've dreamt upon
Flying, to the place I long.

p.s to my dear girl.. if you are feeling down or what. pls look for me k. dont kp it to yourself. it hurts me to see you like that night. =)

dragged myself up from bed.
it was 12nn.
slept at like.. 6 or 7 am.
whole life is like upside down.
furkin down.
went career fair w evelyn.
approached by the AIA and prudential ppl.
we have the potential insurance agent looks???
not much stuff lar.. like a fruitless trip.


went back home later in the night.
the very first thing i opened my house doors,
i saw a bloody disgusting freak,
a cockroach.
well, i like stared at it, still standing outside of my hse 'retardly', for abt half a min.
damn "surprising"
so, i took out my sony ericsson K800i.. and phoned evelyn.
LOL.
she was alrdy going to reach home.
but she accompanied me.
we were like two lost kids.
went kopitiam. bought drinks. sat there... stone.
=s
then eve decided to go home w me to catch the freak.
hahaha!
like some ghost catching host show hur??
but i must say.. I LOVE THIS GIRL!
we went up to my place.
she opened the door bravely, grabbed a newspaper
and start hunting.
MS COCKROACH ELIMINATOR!
whoo~
she even waited for me to bath and til my parents came back.
hehehess...
cockroaches at home???
pls call.. 9181 ****
=D

just feel like..
im such a disappointment.

emo, emo, freaking emo.
lack of energy, motivation, confidence to do anything.
feeling damn lousy these days.
whats wrong?
nobody is there to pick me up at all.
no one i can turn to,
cos no one understand.
dammit.

i miss school!!!
i miss TP!
i miss imc, stragmarketing, global markting, entreprenuership and blah blah..
i miss my beloved sch mates, carmen, mindy, ah xiang, mae, yimei, yuwen, klara, sharon, yanshan, kelly and more!
i miss valerie soh yen lin and ong hui peng.. my furker sista!!


*feeling lost*

i love this song.. u guys will like and agree the lyrics. lol

ive got a bad omen for this new yr.
eve and first day of cny: down with fever
sec day of cny: went movie with eve, then headed down to mos. yeaa.. my fault.. lack of self discipline. i know..
third day: gathering at my hse. blackjack. i lost like $30...=(
forth day: rot at home while my parents went concert. world has changed..
fifth day: went out with evelyn. venues: sim, psb and kaplan. purpose: searching for degree courses



have been feeling so lost about my further studies.
more or less came out with a decision.
lol
going to take up a part time course from the kaplan city campus:
Bachelor of Science (Honours) in MarketingAwarded by University College Dublin, National University of Ireland, Dublin
whee!~=)



went sch on tues for celebration of learning.
it is a session to mark the end of our marketing course.
its also a session for joy and love.
i will definitely miss tp.
miss all the marketing lecturers esp dr arnold tan, mr paul ng and ms regina.
hehe..
of cos.. i wil miss ms pang kar mun who drove me to sch in the early morning and always waiting for me at the bus stop with the fear of kena fine. lol
oh ya.. and my two furker sisters, valerie and huipeng.
lol.


alright.
gonna continue my job search..

failed my global marketing test.
felt furking demoralized and down.
dont know why this time i got so affected by test result.
seriously, i dont get it la.. why i would flunk.
anyway,
cried ..
and moved on.
pressured.. from studies and family.
sigh

okay.
been busy with sch work,
grp reports and individual reports.
dont come and keep asking why im like so busy and what im busy with.
pls..
i dont think and i dont see.. why i cant be busy with my sch works.
marketing reports..
are not a thing easy to understand and to complete..
and dont try to understand it when you are not a marketing student k.
also, i dont know abt other courses projects.. and i cant comment anything.
but marketing reports are aint easy as compared i believed.



some of my frds must be thinking..
"wow.. karen will so serious one meh??"
"aiyah.. karen say say only.. wun do one"


all i can say is,
it depends whether i really wanna put in effort to do or not.
and this term,
i really wanna prove and do sth gd.
since i alrdy started doing most the stuff..
why not go all the way and present the best?



im alrdy farkin ill and feeling so terrible.
dont do anything which can make me more piss such as nagging, kp talking to me when i alrdy say im busy, kp asking what im doin and such..
thanks

been feeling so stress.
sem3.2 is a hell torture.
so many projects and so many individual assignments and tests.
nearly broke down last night.
plus...
been so confused and lost about my life and direction after poly grad.
just three more weeks to the end of my poly life.
so whats life after poly??
work?
going for a degree study?
if im going to study?
where can or shld i go??
sim? mdis? psb? kaplan?
if i were to work.. as???
my life is filled with negativity now,
being stressed, lost, confused and impatience.
worst still, lack of slp.
seriously lack of it.
resulting in my bad temper and stone-ing
sigh.
this is the kind of situation when i start praying and looking for God's light.
lol.

went imc lect this noon.
first imc lect for me.
*grin*
hello peepx!
i know i dont always attend lect..
but no nd to react like this: (after lecture, outside lt theatre)
kar mun: karen bay! u came for lect ah?!! or u just reached sch??
mindy: aaa..! lect finished alrdy.. u come sch for what?? u have tutorial ah???
me: @%#&^$%&*$%@$!
wah lao!

minutes before 7.
not yet sleep.
was doing individual journal for entrepreneurship.
i hate this subj =(



been thinking..
to continue study after poly grad or to find a full time job.
freaking confused.

just done my report.
went up frdster.
was browsing thru..
then was viewing my cousin's profile.
in her photos.. she put the photo of her and grandma.
i miss her too..
=(

everytime i think of grandma,
tears will start rolling.
is it cos of guilt and regrets that ive not spend enough time with her?
or just misses..?